Kalumpocuis

[Kalumpocuis]

Kamupocuis



Form of government:Democratic socialist

Government structure: The government is ruled by a single man, George Kalumpocus, who takes advice from several advisors and some input from the people in oppisition groups ,however for the most part the leader makes all the decisions.

Capitol: No capitol due to a relitively small population and no need for one. The main productive ciies however are Hogsburrow, Wellsburg, and Bumbington.

Currency:Cydinic

Political parties: One including the Leader and his staff

National amimal: Platapus

Tree:The Oak it represents the long lasting empire

National anthem: Hymm to the Red October

Motto:"History is Writen by the Victor" -Captain Price

Culture: Our culture is war. Children are taught basic strategy and tactics from when they enter grade school and beyond. They are also taught with basic weapons training and are enlisted in the military when old enough while wemon work to supply for our nation. Many celebrations include a re-enactment of our great civil wars and parades in honor of the leader in which great amounts of uzo are consumed.

Religion: The nation leadership is tolerant of the many religions of the in the nation however much of the nation is athiest and has no faith what so ever.

History: The nation has been in prepetual war since the begining of its creation these wars began in a seperation of beliefs in how the nation should be run and who should be in power this led to a giant civil war that lasted for hundreds of years till the heir of the Kalumpocus name, George the Third, developed an ingenious strategy to use an indirect aproach instead of just charging straight at the enemy. He then developed the government and is in control as George the First, Ruler of Kalumpocuis.

Other: George Kalumpocus States: We will join your land mass only so it can reach its full potential as the greatest nation alive today!

[Jalorn]

Bookwizard (Olspher) will list a full account of the inaccuracies of your NCT (Nation Creation Template) interpretation, but for now I'll start by reminding you that this is not a first person RP, and that you cannot rule your own nation. You ARE your nation. You have to create the names of the important members of your government. For inspiration visit the wiki: region-of-mappa-mundi-wiki.wetpaint.com/page/Government

[Z (Talem)]

isn't this just ypur natins states description

[Olspher]

List of Improvements:

1. Just to point out, you did both the options available. This is great of course, but if you want to just summarize all you have into one paragraph you have that option.

2. As Elysium (Jalorn) pointed out, first person is hardly ever used... though I suppose you could write an intro that mentions your leaders name and then have him explain everything. If you do do this however remember that he is the leader of a nation, so whatever you make him act like will reflect on the nation he represents (namely yours) However an eccentric leader could certainly always make things more interesting... Well anyways, just fix the tenses around or make it clear who is presenting the nation.

3. Be a bit more assertive or descriptive. You put something like "Socialist I'm assuming" instead put simply "socialist" or "socialist, however, there are several features of our economy that differ..."

4. You need a flag, some sites that can help you do this are the Scholastic Flag-maker (simple and not half bad despite it's first impression) and wearemulticolored.com (more extensive and slightly harder to use, but trust me, it works much better then it seems it will).

After you make your flag and download it to your computer, use Tinypic to upload it to the internet. Tinypic should then give you a url that you can put inside this code: [img][center][/center][/img] and put at the top of your post.




Well, this is my feedback, besides 4. most of it is just very strong suggestions. So if you think it's to much then or think that you are ready to RP and develop your nation in that respect then by all means do so.

[Jalorn]

Rule #5: if you spell worse than the administrator, you will be flamed. Fortunately, this is incredibly hard to do unintentionally.

((Olspher... did you mean to say "socialist" twice in #3?))

[Olspher]

((Yes... words around other words tend to change their context))

Bad spellers of the world untie!


Great improvements! Bravo and APPROVED.